Yesterday my new book, Revelations of The Sky: 133 passages on the alchemy of grief, was released.

It’s been an odyssey to write this book and conclude a trilogy I began writing back in 2016, which folds in so many pivotal moments of my life including losing my brother Brent, transplanting at midlife to the island of Kauai in search of reinvention, and following the giant dreams inside my heart to see who I'd become if I trusted and believed.

When I sent out the email announcement yesterday I opened with the questions:

How do we find the light of transformation in loss and who do we become when we allow love to rearrange us?

It dawned on me, amid the social media blast flurry and all the other necessary marketing things I don’t really enjoy but need to do to empower and share my work—

I’ve lived the truths of these questions the past few years. I found my truth by going through the process and discovering the answer of my own becoming. The stories, my story of becoming, are in these books.

It was a lot to take in, and since I don’t want to make this post a reflection on my transformation process and what I’ve learned, because the story is in the books and, really, every word I’ve written since losing Brent—

What I will reflect on instead is how the moment felt yesterday standing on the mountain top.

I haven’t had a lot of mountain tops during my time in Kauai. I’ve been building and building, then building some more, as I worked on creating a foundation strong and wide enough to hold my heart’s gigantic speaking, writing and teaching dreams.

I’ve spent more time lost on the mountain than standing at the top looking out. I have learned, though, that is where the greatest opportunity for soul alchemy lines.

But yesterday was a mountaintop experience in the sense that releasing the conclusion to the Lamentations Trilogy is a pinnacle and major accomplishment. Always a visionary thinker, I tend to look ahead and I knew I needed to not let the moment slip by and that I needed to take space to acknowledge it.

I could feel the strangest mix of pride, relief and emptiness bubbling through me, as I realized I could finally release the space I’ve been holding inside for the greater arc of this story to come through and write itself.

I found myself going to a literal mountaintop to commemorate the moment.

Red Kauai dirt, jungle green views, one last rock scramble to get me to the top of Sleeping Giant— the mountain herself is woven into the pages of my book having inspired many a poem, epiphany and essay.

Hello my old friend, I said. It’s been a while. I used to come here all the time, but life has changed, and I haven’t had as much freedom to come and visit you..

Her answer is a gust of wind— a breath of relief in what has mostly been a stagnant, sticky, unusually hot October.

Nature keeps no expectations of us, she just welcomes us where we are at.

Yesterday, for me, I was at peace, and relief, and a hint of grief, and a wave of fatigue, and all sorts of other heart feels wanting to spill through.

I offered a bundle of sacred herbs to a tree at the top, my purpose on the mountain twofold: to simply enjoy nature and ground myself and to give gratitude to spirit and use my offering as a way to say yes to whatever will unfold next on my journey.

I say yes, I whispered as the wind continued to whip. I say yes to staying on this path and following the way of the heart. I say yes to whatever you have planned for me next.

I will always say yes to Love, but you already know that.

Too tired to sense, perceive or receive any magical intuitive messages, it was enough sit on the ground with the sentience of the tree.

I sat for a while. Full and empty. Taking in the gray day, the shifting clouds, and the dance of the leaves on my tree friend. I’m sure Brent was nearby, but he didn’t bother me if so. I think he knew I just needed to be with me.

I rested in Revelation’s completion. Thinking about the question I asked in my email, thinking about love’s strange ways, thinking about change, thinking about who I’ve become.

To learn more about Revelations of The Sky you can find your copy here: Revelations of The Sky