Let It Be Messy: An Invitation to Trust
April came in with strong winds, a quick breeze, and a tired heart.
I always say that March is a changeful month, and so it was.
Now here we are with a bit of springtime weather this Easter weekend as I reflect on the passage of time since we moved into the year 2021 and presently find ourselves stepping into the 2nd quarter of the year.
The energies on your planet are shifting, each of you are shifting, you are going to be doing things in new ways and understanding yourself in new ways.
This is the message from spirit I’ve received again and again, along with the ongoing guidance that looking to the past to create our future is going to be a lot less helpful than staying open in the present, receiving the next step by going into our heart, and then moving forward on our paths from a heartcentric space.
It’s an invitation to trust our hearts, intuition and relationship to spirit in a deep and abiding way.
I’m no stranger to trust - I’ve been ‘invited’ to trust in bigger ways ever since I moved to Kauai in 2017 and set my intention for radical life reinvention and to truly follow my dreams.
I’ve been traveling deeper and deeper into the wild unknown of soul ever since, learning to navigate through tuning into the compass of my heart, learning to make space to listen to my heart, continually coming back to my inner guidance, taking the next step as best I know how, and trusting somehow it will all work out.
I write about this space, creating a rough topographic map to help others navigate by through my words and work, but it’s only a rough map since there’s no precision when one has said yes to journeying the soulful path of brave, authentic living.
There is only the guarantee that if you keep trusting what is in your heart, a glorious riot of soulful expansion becomes available to you, and you will be astonished at what the universe is capable of when you allow for your greater possibility.
I’m a longtime traveler, but I have to admit this last March pushed all my trust buttons and left me shaking my head wondering if I’d somehow missed the path.
I’ve been trying to manifest some serious magic around finding the perfect home, and after thinking it was just within our grasp, everything fell to pieces and nothing has gone the way I expected it too.
Somewhere in the background I think I hear the angels chuckling at the line even as I wryly shake my head and think -
My dear BethAnne, when has it EVER gone the way you expected it too?
You live on a creator planet filled with ever-flowing waves, energetic shifts, and seasons of fluctuation and change, why do you think you should somehow be exempt from Mother Nature’s ways?
No matter how in flow you think you are.
And that is where I find myself this April.
Riding the bend of a curveball.
Remembering how to improv and do unchoreographed floor work when life tilts sideways.
Remembering that all good shake ups are here to shake out what no longer serves us, so we can create space for something new to take place and work with the current energy in creative ways.
The Akashic Records called April a month for new creativity and encouraged us to see ourselves as the artist in our lives.
Admittedly, my art right now feels like a messy array of finger paints, but I know that when we can take a jumbled mass and find the hidden gifts in the mess that is the space where our best creations usually come through - inspired by the very ingredients that seemed to derail us.
So, for now, I have come to a messy space where I don’t know what I don’t know.
What I do know is I am trying to stay deeply curious and open as to how April will unfold, because I am rapidly learning that for any good manifestation - especially the taller the order - there is:
How you think it will happen based on what you think you know.
How it begins to happen, inviting you to expand your previous perceptions and viewpoint.
How you think it’s happening and expect is going to happen based on the latest unfolding of the process.
How life surprises you in the middle of all of this and takes the reigns of destiny (because you forget you are not omnipotent and can’t see all eventualities and possibilities).
How it actually happens.
Right now I am somewhere in the middle of step 3 and step 4 and hoping that the bigger picture of step 5 comes into play soon.
Until then, here I am.
Imperfect and learning in this human skin. Leaning into the wind. Re-embracing the art of flow after a week of let-down and resistance.
Making plans to hike our favorite mountain later this afternoon where I’ll give my worries to the land and remember when I harmonize with nature, I can always find my way home.
If you enjoyed this reflection you might also enjoy 44: A Moment of Ordinary Grief or Golden: Savor The Struggle.
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